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Watch How This Professional Poker Cheater, Mike Postle, Gets Caught With Body Language

We talked to "Dylan" and "Tanya," two full-time casino security experts. We mentioned that Tanya is at a tribal casino in Washington. So see, it's totally possible to leave the casino a winner! One was a man who left the bathroom on the way back to the table and then collapsed, the other a slot machine player who slumped over and fell out of his chair. The slot players keep pulling. Please enter a Username. Patrons often talk to dealers about killing themselves, usually after losing next month's rent betting on red. I agree to the Terms of Service.{/INSERTKEYS}{/PARAGRAPH} Tanya's casino is one of two located close to a local military base hers is the less sketchy one, she proudly notes, because it had zero parking lot murders in the last couple of weeks. They place bets once they know the hand's outcome a trick called "past posting" or they belatedly increase the bet "capping" or reduce it "pinching". Because acting differently changes your luck. But the places have a demand and supply of paid sex, leading the surveillance team to play gleeful games of Spot the Hooker. People come for the buffet and stay for the baccarat, and if you're planning on screwing the casino over by nabbing cheap food then leaving, well, you'd better have more self-control than the seniors and soldiers Tanya sees. Everyone knows that. If they linger in the john's car in the casino lot, Dylan has to wait until the camera catches a sex act in progress, and then he sends in the guards. One of my old bosses told me it didn't really hit him until he found brain matter on his shoe later. Follow him on Twitter for stuff cut from articles and other things no one should see. You're almost done. Tanya repeatedly finds discarded purses in the bathroom, along with needles, foil, and other assorted drug swag. Go to a casino yourself for an evening, and you'll find it to be pretty harmless -- the money that people lose to the slots is a fee they paid for the momentary thrill, right? The camera will see them, but they hope the person monitoring it won't. The method was almost disappointing: All that happened was that on the roulette table, his casino's chips weren't marked with the dollar amount. Plus, there's a real chance that the gambler will try committing suicide on the property itself, which is bad for business. Tweekers also steal, which is a step past panhandling by most counts. Other deaths are a little more directly connected with gambling. When dealers at Dylan's casino hear gamblers talk of offing themselves, they call the police, who send a trained person to talk them down. So they moved machines around to capitalize on this and ended up squeezing a whole new chunk of money out of the lady customers. So a few years ago, Dylan got kind of suspicious when roulette players at his casino actually seemed to be winning. Ryan Menezes is an editor and interviewer here at Cracked. Ultimately, the product casinos are selling is hope, even if it's false hope. Dylan has dealt with two corpses. You can usually even keep the money you won, depending on whether you crossed the line between "cleverly gaining an advantage" and "outright theft. That's because of another weird kink in the law: It's okay to pick up a purse you might have meant to return it until someone sees you take money from it. Pop culture loves stories of ingenious schemes to cheat casinos involving teams of slick operators and at least one autistic genius. Don't make me do this again. Security jobs are pretty odd across the board. Search for the exit, and twisted hallways send you right back to where you started, or to a different casino floor. And that's how most cheaters work. Casinos have no windows; windows show the sun moving. Over at the slot machines, security will prod awake sleeping gamblers so no one robs them, and because sleeping patrons mean lost revenue , who then immediately return to playing. Other times, it's a matter of convincing the dealer to go in on it with you, at which point they will start overpaying on winning hands or paying players even when they lose "dumping". He drove in, went straight to the top, and jumped headfirst. The other kinds of cheating you see in movies everything from card counting to bringing a goddamn mirror or prism to steal glances at the dealer's cards aren't illegal at all -- and are only sometimes against the casino's rules. This is why the casinos readily give free food vouchers once you've been on the floor for a while, just to keep you from leaving. The goal is to suspend you in a timeless void in which there is only the next hand or the next spin at the roulette wheel forever. Neither source's casino has any policy of telling people to take breaks or to go home after a long stretch or huge loss. But our second source, Tanya who runs surveillance at a tribal casino in Washington says her joint does let addicts "self-bar. Contrary to the belief of many hopeful patrons, prostitution isn't automatically legal in casinos hell, it isn't even legal in Vegas. And they work! Weed is illegal on the reservation even though it's legal in the state, to the surprise and disappointment of many a guest. See, there is a reason casinos play looping, nondescript music instead of songs: Song changes would mean time's passing, and then when a song finally repeats, you'd know hours must have passed and maybe break yourself out of that trance. Casinos give out "player cards," which you swipe at machines and tables; most people think they're merely loyalty programs, but the casinos also use them to track your activity and then map out everyone's preferences over time. This is entertainment for them, much like spying on elevator sex or watching drunken patrons hump walls. And don't despair, enlisted folk -- there's a nice buffet military discount waiting for you, too. The autopsies said "stroke" and "heart attack," and not "death by keno" or "shot by a one-armed bandit," so the casino might not feel too guilty about those incidents. It turned out that the place was being hit by a member organized cheating ring, as he finally figured out after an investigation and four arrests. Died instantly. And the soldiers there gladly hemorrhage away their paychecks at the nearest money sink. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. From watching movies, you'd swear that casinos are arenas in which savants win big, then battle security thugs before running off with the nearest call girl. Instead, the casinos actively seek out the elderly with senior discounts for side stuff like the buffet. Casinos have no clocks. Of course, people can die anywhere, but in most places, it causes kind of a stir. That woman still comes to gamble now and again, which, believe it or not, led her to find a new boyfriend: one of the house's manic resident tweekers. Tanya has had to wind up talking down suicidal customers herself; once, she had a long talk and a cry with a woman whose gambling losses topped off a whole string of problems, from abusive relationships to her husband leaving her for a teenager. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Another target is retirees, and Tanya would feel sorry for them Geriatrics pissing away money at the slots is an accurate cliche, and it's not an incidental part of the casino who'd perhaps rather attract high-rollers. People soil themselves -- he says one particular woman regularly enters and sits until someone spots her newly soggy crotch and escorts her out, and he's seen a couple of different patrons shake turds out their pant legs to keep playing without pause. At the casino, the other patrons went on walking around or over the bodies on the way to the next game. Casino security doesn't intervene. Phones are forbidden at the table, and that's not just to keep you from cheating or snapping photos -- it keeps you from checking the time, since most people don't wear watches nowadays. One signer came back so many times that Tanya, honoring their agreement, had him arrested. Meth is also illegal on the reservation, to the surprise of no guests at all, but tweekers still come in droves. And their aprons must cover their waistline, lest they try hiding their chips somewhere more intimate. Don't have an account? It's amazing, because there are other casinos he could go to. Continue as Guest. {PARAGRAPH}{INSERTKEYS}Thanks for connecting! And when the fire alarm goes off? The buffet is of course designed to run at a loss, knowing that your expected gambling losses far exceed what the buffet costs to run. The addicts rifle through the purses in the bathroom, and they don't fear getting caught on the way there. In table games like blackjack, they aren't using sophisticated strategies or mystical math; they're simply shuffling chips on the table when they're not supposed to. For example, one casino's cards mapped out a giant shift in women from one side of the casino to the other at the same time every day. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see why Hollywood can be just dumb with computers in 5 Stupid Things Movies Believe About Hacking , and watch other videos you won't see on the site! If you spend years watching everything that happens in the casino day after day, you'll see what hives of scum and misery the places can be, even if they're not run by the mafia these days. For example, the only way to beat roulette is to steal money when no one's looking, according to, let's say, Einstein. In real life, most cheating schemes are something a child could have come up with. Arthritic Old Man, cruelly, will often not pull up his pants before leaving the vehicle. Get up to take a walk around, and you'll find the casino layout is a maze. Casino machines issue penny tickets -- low-value vouchers that you can play with or cash in -- and tweekers crawl on the floor searching for ones players might have dropped. The worst thing that can happen is them asking you to leave, and maybe notifying other casinos. The casino responds, because while they do little to deter excessive gambling hell, they do plenty to encourage it , there's a limit to their indifference. These addicts look for wallets and purses players leave out in the open -- Dylan says players do this all the time, stupidly assuming that the hidden cameras will protect them. Also follow us on Facebook because if you're going to rage on the Internet, do it in the safety of our comment section. And even with the alarm blaring and the dealers leaving, the table players stay put, wanting to keep their spot. The exception is when a sex worker and her client fail to leave the premises before completing the transaction. They told us that Dylan has seen compulsive gamblers occupy the craps table for 28 hours straight.